Stationery, stationery, stationery…where can it be found?

As a life-long pen pal, my stationery has often been the envy of pen friends. They adore my writing paper, and state they can’t find such stationery in their area. My writing paper tends to be cute, colorful, etc. I am always on the lookout for stuff that is not ordinary, but unique in some way. In recent years, stationery gets harder to find, but my general tips on finding stationery remain about the same. (I am not a user of fine or luxury stationery paper, being a bit too frugal for that, although it is lovely!)

Number one tip? Stop looking at chain stores, big box stores, popular stores! These places are not likely to sell stationery anymore anyways, but even back in the day, their products were usually not too interesting.

Rather, look at independent shops, thrift stores, and other places off the beaten path – such as in the “Chinatown” section of a city or in the “artsy” district. I always have my eyes open, and sometimes stumble upon stationery products when I least expect it.

A few years ago I found a big variety of cute Asian stationery in a Chinatown shop, and I stocked up! Cute? Think hearts, puppies, etc! The salesclerk looked at my cash carefully, as I must have been the first person to buy $50 of stationery all at once! haha. The prices were reasonable, so I got a good amount of stationery for what I spent.

I am not a spendthrift, but since finding stationery can be a here and there or infrequent occurrence, I don’t hesitate to buy when I do find it! Taking the photos for this post, I realized I am getting towards the end of my supply of certain stationery that I acquired as long as 15 years ago! Boo-hoo!

I’ve acquired my Sanrio stationery in several ways: years ago there was a Sanrio store in a local mall, years ago I visited a Sanrio store near Times Square in NYC (that sold stationery normally only available in Japan), and more recently a dear pen pal in Japan sent me a package of awesome Sanrio stationery!

Used/independent book stores can have a section of paper products, like journals and note cards. I have found off-beat or old-fashioned note cards in these shops. A relative of mine tends to visit artsy areas, and has bought me unusual note cards in the past.

In the last several years, I increasingly find stationery at thrift shops. As people write less, I think they are cleaning out their desks and donating it. Sad, but good for those who still love to hand write letters! Much of the stationery I am finding is from the 1980’s and 1990’s (people taking too long to de-clutter!) but the paper is still in great condition. My “big find” last year was a huge selection of cat themed stationery that the thrift shop had packaged together. It was only $6 or $7 and it had multiple pads and packages of cat themed stationery, note paper, note cards. I was thrilled. (Yes, I love cats!)

On that note, garage sales can be a source of stationery products to.

Around the corner from where a relative used to live was a dollar store, but it was not a chain dollar store. It was an independent one, owned and run by Asians (not sure what nationality) and they lived on my relative’s street. This store had a variety of items – things a bit different than what you’d find at other dollar type stores. The owners must have had special contacts for buying products from Asia. I appreciated their stationery/office supply isle.

Think there are no such stores in your area? Are you sure? For example, a friend told me there were no used book stores in her area. I looked, and yes, there were a couple. Are you just driving to and from the nearest chain shopping plaza? Stop it! (haha) Get off the beaten path. Ask around. Use the internet to locate shops in your area.

And while I am not a fan of chain stores, I have found unique stationery products in Marshall Home Goods and TJ Maxx. Their stock changes, but for awhile I was finding Punch Studio stationery products. Don’t know Punch Studio? They make colorful note cards featuring butterflies, birds, flowers, etc. I love their stuff! See this ebay listing for some examples. However, I paid much less than the ebay prices! I don’t remember paying more than the $3-$6 range for anything.

By the way, I have rarely (if ever?) bought stationery products online.

In close, an example of finding stationery when I least expect it. This was at least a dozen years ago, but I was at a local indoor shopping plaza that was struggling to make it (the plaza is now closed) and someone had rented a little space, short-term, to sell Diddl products! Diddl is the cute little mouse from Germany. You can google it if you don’t know Diddl. I was surprised and happy to find Diddl in the US! And, of course, I stocked up, and bought a bunch of Diddl stationery pads…only a little remains.

Closings to letters…

In modern times, we tend to quickly end our letters with the standard “Your Friend” or “Sincerely Yours.” It is generic. We don’t give the closing much thought, yet this was not always the case. If you enjoy reading collections of letters from centuries past, you’ll notice that letter closings were often more creative, and personal. The closing could actually sum up the letter or even be the punch line of the letter. Here are a few examples of letter closings from centuries past…

• I remain, honored madam, your unhappy, but ever dutiful daughter,
• Your old mad playfellow and cousin,
• But it is time to lay down my pen, since my ink runs nothing but gall,
• I bid thee very heartily farewell,
• I trust you will find this reply satisfactory, and remain yours faithfully,
• Keep well, cheerful, happy, work, leap, let yourself be carried away, sing and, if possible, don’t forget a provincial writer, your zealous admirer,

Here are a couple from letters in the Bible. You do realize the New Testament contains a number of letters, right?

• In the letter of Second John in the New Testament, the letter ends this way: “Having many things to write to you, I do not wish to do so with paper and ink, but I hope to come to you and speak face to face, that our joy may be full.”
• The letter to the Colossians ends this way: “I, Paul, write this greeting in my own hand. Remember my chains. Grace be with you.“

I sometimes end my letters with “Your friend by post and pen.”

When you reach the end of your next letter, pause for thought. Use these examples as inspiration to get more creative. Happy letter writing!

Re-humanize the world…through letter writing!

Over the years, I have been pleasantly surprised, on occasion, to stumble upon an endorsement or encouragement of postal letter writing in a place I wasn’t expecting to find it. I have another blog about Christianity, and I follow a Christian professor (Dr. Douglas Groothuis) who specializes in apologetics and philosophy. One of his recent posts got my attention: 10 Ways to Write a Meaningful Card. After sharing these 10 ideas, he ends the post this way:

“Consider joining me in my effort to re-humanize the world through the simple, but soulful, act of writing cards and letters.”

Yes!

I liked #4 “I usually write when I have time to reflect on what I should write. I don’t usually dash them off. Too much is already dashed off in our hurry sickened world.”
– I recently wrote about this very thing here on my blog: Are you writing a friend, or only writing a letter?

However, the “10 ways” post is not about the postal pen pal hobby, but rather about writing notes to various other people in your life. I don’t do this as much anymore, and most of my note/letter writing is to my pen friends. Somewhere along the line I got away from writing notes to those who are not my pen friends.

Several things come into play. Years ago, even people who weren’t pen pals or letter writers would still send the occasional note or letter – long distance phone calls were expensive. Remember worrying about the cost per minute for a call?! And then social media took over, and so many now keep connected by these means – they “send” a birthday, get well, or thinking of you wish by facebook or text – rather than by post.

This affected me too. I continued to write my pen pals, but why send a card to others (besides pen pals) when you can see via facebook that they are alive and well? And I also missed the reciprocity. Years ago, you could count on getting the occasional postal note or card from others. But that tapered off – I’d send notes but rarely get any in return. Therefore, most of my writing became almost exclusively with my pen pals – where there was reciprocity.

But I should try to send more notes and cards to others. I do send some, but not near as many as years ago. As Dr. Groothuis further says in his post:

“Writing cards is a way to re-humanize a de-humanized culture. Too much is too automatic and impersonal. When you pen (and I mean pen) a card, it bears the mark of you—your handwriting, your choice of ink and pen. A human, you, emerges…”

In this New Year, I will try to increase the number of notes I send to those who are not my pen friends. Perhaps you too??

Are you writing a friend, or only writing a letter?

When I wrote a column for a print pen pal newsletter, I once began a column with the title of this post. It is a play on words, but there is a subtle but significant difference between writing a friend vs. writing a letter.

There is something about postal letter writing that sets it apart from modern forms of communication like phone calls and texting. There is a leisure and emotional luxury to handwritten postal letter writing. Putting a pen to paper slows you down. There is time to think and consider what you want to say, rather than feeling ambushed or rushed – as you might with the phone.

For me, I also consider each pen pal a friend that I want to get to know. I usually read each letter twice before replying to it. I take a few moments to think about the letter. What do I relate to? What do I have a question about? If my pen pal is having a struggle or problem, I may take a moment to pray for them. (Related thoughts here: A letter should be a dialogue, not a monologue. )

I enjoy this process. I don’t want to be only writing a letter, but developing a friendship. This is part of what postal letter writing is supposed to be about…stepping back to a former time when life was a little slower, communication more thoughtful, and friendships deeper.

Does everyone have to take the exact same special care that I do? No. But I have noticed that the postal pen pal hobby is being affected by the hustle and bustle of modern life.

It makes me sad. I notice more pen pals that seem to write their letters as fast as a bullet. It does not appear that much thought or care was put into it. They don’t remember much of anything from previous letters; they are only responding to that specific letter, and not to a friendship.

I don’t mean to sound critical, and I do have some wonderful pen friends, but this is just a friendly reminder to slow down and enjoy the pleasure of the post.

** I received several responses to that column. One person, Cindi, shared this:

“In my life, I’ve had a lot of pen-PALS, but only a few pen-FRIENDS. I remember writing the same basic letter over and over again, and wondering what the point was. I love to get mail, just as much as the next person, but what’s the point? I am fortunate enough to have a few good pen-FRIENDS, though, who understand that sometimes life is busy and writing a letter the same day I received it is not possible. A letter is a visit from a friend. It shouldn’t be bulk mailing. Thank you for your column. Hopefully it will remind others that it is okay to slow down and enjoy the experience.”

Another response to the column asked for ideas on how to keep the hurry of modern life from invading our letters. Cindi’s comment offered one answer! Expecting our letters to be answered as fast as possible may be part of the problem. As Cindi said, writing pen pals should not be bulk mailing.

Think of a letter as a visit from a friend. Slow down. Enjoy the visit!

The amount of time it takes me to respond to letters is variable – it may be 1-2 weeks or 4-6 weeks. Maybe that sounds unreliable, but I just can’t write a letter until I have the time and the right frame of mind. Rushing to write a letter leads to a low quality result, at least it does for me. I also don’t want to view a letter as checking a chore off a to-do list: “phew – got that out of the way!”

Personally, I’d rather receive a quality, caring letter that takes 2 months to receive, than a superficial letter that arrives in only 1 week. Please consider your approach to letter writing. Are you making friends or just trying to fill your mailbox?

——–

Update: Another post to consider, shares this:

I usually write when I have time to reflect on what I should write. I don’t usually dash them off. Too much is already dashed off in our hurry sickened world. – Douglas Groothuis

A letter should be a dialogue, not a monologue

As a postal pen pal for 30+ years, I’ve encountered all types of letter writers. Most of my pen pals have written good letters, but on occasion I’ve encountered the not-so-good letter writer – such as monologue or diary style letters. Below are edited thoughts I shared in a print pen pal newsletter a few years ago.

Recently I was browsing pen pal ads on a web site called “long letter ladies.” [The site is no longer around.]  This site attracts women who are looking for postal correspondents, not e-mail. When women write an ad on this site, besides sharing basic facts about themselves such as age or hobbies, they also tend to share thoughts about what they are looking for in a pen pal. While recently on the site, I noticed a pattern in the various ads on the importance of a letter being a “dialogue not a monologue.”

Here are some quotes from several ads:

“I want conversational letters. Not looking for people who only write about themselves and ignore everything I write.”

“Above all, to have an actual conversation in each letter is very important to me. I don’t care at all for letters that feel like someone has written a diary entry just keeping a monologue. I want there to be a dialogue, just like when you actually talk to people you consider to be your friends.”

“I love to answer and ask questions of penfriends — my letters are more of a dialogue than a monologue for sure. I hate one sided letters and definitely love the exchange of thoughts, ideas, and viewpoints.”

Hmmm…these quotes really lay it out for us! Letters should be a two way exchange. A letter should contain your personal news, but it should also be a response to the letter you received as well. Make some comments or ask some questions about the news your pen pal shared with you.

This is a basic quality of friendship as well. Friendship should be a two-way street, where two people are mutually interested in one another. If you care about someone, you should be interested in them. Without reciprocity, there is no relationship.

Monologue or “diary style” letters can unfortunately send the message that you do not really care about someone. Maybe you’d never thought about it that way before. If so, it is never too late to become a better letter writer! More importantly, it is never too late to become a better friend.

**A future post will expand on these thoughts…

Poems, quotes about the joys of letter writing

Mailbox Friends, by Flossie Wagner

I welcome Monday morning!
Perhaps some mail will come.
I hope I get a letter – I don’t care who it’s from.
I’m tired of bills and gimmicks,
Right now I need a lift.
And friendship from the mailbox
Is one of God’s greatest gifts!

“A letter is never ill timed; it never interrupts. Instead it waits for us to find the opportune minute, the quiet moment to savor the message. There is an element of timelessness about letter writing; we are reminded of Jane Austen’s novels and a more gracious way of life. Letter writing is that sweet surrender of time and place that allows us to recapture the essence of particular closeness, when we recount shared memories of special times and special people who have so enriched our lives.”  – from Friend to Friend: Letters Only a Woman Could Write by Lois Wyse

“Smell, touch, handwriting…e-mail eliminates all of these wonderful aspects of the traditional love letter. You can read, but you cannot live the letter. Can your recipient peruse an e-mail printed out from the office and chuckle at the creativity based on the way you dot your  i’s? Can he or she be reminded of your special scent, even days after your last meeting, from a letter dabbed with your signature fragrance? Leave a lasting impression, one that will be all the more cherished in this electronic age, by composing a love letter from the heart…” – from Romancing the Past, Volume II, Issue 1, spring 2002

“In an age of e-mail, voicemail, and other forms of instant yet distant communication, a handwritten note stands out. It says you’ve taken the time to sit down, pick up a pen, and think carefully about what you want to say – after all, there’s no delete key. Your personality shines through, and so does your thoughtfulness.” – In the Marshall Fields print catalog around 2004

Snail Mail (seen on a notecard) :

E-mail rushes to and fro
Since paper letters seem too slow,
But we prefer the status quo;
This card was sent by esacrago

“E-mail has no whiff of romance. While I know it can be exciting to exchange cyberspace sentiments, it takes away from the intimacy of handwriting, the suspense of waiting. E-mail is great for immediate gratification, but there is something about anticipation that’s nice, too.” –  Judy Miler, ABC news

Why bother with postal mail anymore?

In the spring 2000 issue of my old pen pal newsletter, I wrote about how some postal pen pals were switching to e-mail communication. In the year 2017, we now have so much more – like facebook – as a way to keep in touch. While there are advantages to e-mail (and social media), I highlighted some things that are “lost” in the realm of e-mail. Like what? Why bother with the post?

A personal touch is lost, as well as tangibility. Holding a letter in your hands is a different experience altogether than reading an e-mail or checking facebook. Postal mail is often handwritten, and the process of putting a pen to paper is personal. Each person’s handwriting is unique. (Alas, cursive writing is dwindling as more use keyboards and touch screens.) Even if a postal letter is typed, it still contains a signature, and many will artistically personalize the letter in other ways (more below).

The ability to exchange small items is lost, such as a bookmark, postcard, magazine article, or a tourist pamphlet. Some of us are ephemera fans!

The enjoyment of paper or mail related hobbies is lost. Why rubberstamp a card if you don’t have anyone to write and mail it to? How will you obtain postage stamps for your collection or to use artistically? Some people are really creative with their letters and envelopes! While the blogger at “Lost Art Revived” doesn’t post regularly, look at this post for some colorful and decorative outgoing postal mail!

I remember, a few years ago, someone saying that they like e-mail because it is simple and you don’t have to bother with stationery, postage, pens, and the like. But see, for some of us, it is the opposite of a bother – it is actually enjoyable!

I love stationery a little too much, and have several desk drawers and a box filled with it. I enjoy looking through it, and having a selection to choose from when I write a letter. Yes, you can still buy stationery! Increasingly, I find stationery at thrift shops, as people write less and clean out their desks.

Finally, the joy of anticipation is lost. We live in an instant age. We want it, and we want it now. But there is something to be said for having a little patience! You send a letter off, and then wait for a return letter to arrive in your mailbox. It is great to have something to look forward to in life – even little things such as letters.

More could be said about the joys of the post, but that is all for now. This blog is new, so if you appreciate it, please share with other people who utilize the post.

Below are two notebooks that I decorated with postage stamps from my childhood collection. I take old stamps and decoupage them to things – tins, notebooks, magnets.

Postal pen pals

I have another blog, but have long considered starting a new one about my lifelong and beloved hobby of writing postal pen pals. “Pen pals” – perhaps a juvenile term, but there is really nothing juvenile about writing by post. “Pen friends” may have a more mature ring to it. I began writing pen friends about the age of 14, and have literally never stopped – which means I have now been at it for about 33 years! Handwriting, stationery, paper art, postage stamps…It never grows old and I love the personal and tangible aspects of it. It is a joy to go to the mailbox and see what awaits me each day.

I’m still in touch with a pen friend that I began corresponding with when I was 16, and several others since my early to mid 20’s. Many pen pals have also come and go over the years, which seems to be the nature of the hobby. Some begin, finding it novel, but the novelty wears off. Others get “too busy” and cease writing. Some disappear and you aren’t sure why. However, some of us have maintained our commitment to postal correspondence through the many ups, downs, and changes of life. I presently correspond with about a dozen people.

Perhaps it seems a bit of a contradiction to write about postal letter writing on a blog, but the internet is a vital way to communicate today. For many years I did self-publish a print, pen pal newsletter that was sent out by post. It contained a variety of content: letter writing tips, creative ideas for decorating letters/envelopes, essays on friendship, pen reviews, postage stamp news, and the like. I’ve thought that I could transfer some of the applicable content over to blog posts, as a way to immortalize it.

Years ago, the main way to find postal pen pals was through the pen pal section of certain magazines, informal pen pal newsletters (such as mine), and FBs. FBs? It stands for Friendship Books. That would be another post, but FBs are essentially little handmade booklets (that can easily be tucked into an envelope) which are passed from pen pal to pen pal.

Pen pal sections in magazines ceased long ago, and most informal pen pal newsletters also stopped for various reasons. However, Friendship Books remain – although less common. I still “swap” them with several pen friends. Web sites, such as Global Pen Friends, seem the main way to find new pen friends today.

Well, I suppose I’ve said enough for a first post. This blog will be a work in progress, that I will work on as time permits.